Road Trip

"A buddy of mine was planning this road trip and wanted to buy a van. He wanted to go from Boston down to Jacksonville. Jacksonville is a fairly horrible destination, like, the most, just bougie, like suburbia... Like, WHO ENDS UP IN JACKSONVILLE? But, anyway, we find this van in Baltimore so we decide to buy this van halfway through our road trip. We started in a Jetta, which, like, stuff doesn't fit in Jettas. Bought this van halfway through the road trip, but since we're in Baltimore and he was from Florida and I was from Jersey, he couldn't get the thing titled and registered anyway. 'Cause, like, Baltimore has this thing like, 'We want a police officer to sign off on the title' and all sorts of weird things, and Florida wants a notary. So we had to mail the paperwork out. We FedExed it overnight, trying to get it there, and he messes up everything. He ended up messing *that* up and had to leave Baltimore early... It was either we both leave Baltimore and leave the van or one person leaves and one person stays with the van. Since he was the one who needed to be in Jacksonville, I was the one who needed to be with the van. So I spent like three or four days in a van in a parking lot outside of Baltimore, cooking on, like, a camp stove, full-blown camping style. It was February, too, and it was *cold*! So, that whole time period was crazy--there were all these little random interactions with people wondering what I was doing, like 'What you cooking?' That was the big question I got asked the whole time, 'What you cooking?' I was just some weird guy sitting in the back of a Dodge van cooking spaghetti on a camping stove."