The "D" Word...

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Me: "What's a choice that you've made that has helped define who you are?"
Him: "I'm divorced! That about sums it up…"
Me: "Tell me about it."
Hm: "Well, I've been divorced for twenty years so far. And I was married for twenty years. God, I'd never do it again. See, I was married when I was fourteen. We went down to Maryland where it was totally legal; in fact, my father-in-law drove us down. It was one of those eighth-grade first-love things. She was blond. I'll never marry another blond."
Me: "What went wrong?"
Him: "I went into the army--this is like Jerry Springer stuff--I went into the army and she married my best friend. She kept on saying, 'I hate that guy, I hate that guy.' Six months later she married him."
Me: "So, what now?"
Him: "Now I've got four girlfriends. Lemme see… One in New Jersey, one in Ohio, one in Germany, and one I-don't-know-where-she-is."
Me: "You don't know where she is?"
Him: "Nope."
Me: "Don't you think that if she's not telling you where she is, she might not count as a girlfriend?"
Him: "No, she does. She's just on the internet and doesn't want to disclose her location."

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